cognitive functions of an introverted feeler with intuition
introverted feeling
dysfunctional aspects
emotional reasoning: When strong emotions hit, I take them out of context and magnify and globalize them into stories about myself, other people and life at large. It's like they take over my entire identity and worldview and I become that emotion. A past and future outside what the emotion tells me does no longer exist. I tend to globalize my feelings and my thinking becomes extremely polarized, inflexible and without nuance.
Feeling shame: "Someone intended to degrade, devalue and hurt me; they're inconsiderate and mean; I hate them" OR "Everybody sees that I'm insecure, everybody looks down upon me, nobody respects me." Feeling excluded: "They don't want to be with me anymore; I don't really belong anywhere; I don't relate to anyone; all my relations are fake; I am socially so different and there's something wrong with me relationally to the point that I can't connect to other people at all." Feeling lonely: "I have nobody, nobody to care for or protect me; I have lost everyone and I am all alone in the world, I might as well just die" Feeling bored: "I don't want anything in life and I am unable to activize myself, I am completely stuck and nothing will ever change; there's no point to anything"
resistance of them/the system: I feign not caring about other peoples' feedback, the rules of the system or external standards of success. Because I'm above that, right? If I did admit to caring, it would involve admitting that I am a failure. First of all, it would display my shame and unhappiness. But second of all, it means I would have to take responsibility for my own life and future, and that's surely too much to expect, right?
intolerance of difficulty and challenge: When things become difficult or challenging, it's hard for me to "push through" or "stay motivated" or "just do it anyways". I quickly feel impatient, frustrated, bored, overwhelmed, worn out and I just stop whatever I'm doing. I start questioning the point of doing it at all, criticizing the activity for being "meaningless", "hollow", "without value" and wondering why I bother, which can eventually spiral into nihilism and a sense of "am I really doing anything worthy? am I just floating along in life, unable to get what I want?" I can start blaming the system/society/others for forcing me to live as someone inauthentic and do things I don't want to and want to rebel agains these shallow values and the mindless sheep who ascribe to them.
instant gratification / resistance to self-discipline: I don't deny myself anything, really. Well, unless it harms somebody else. My moral boundaries are very intact. Boundaries on my wants, desires, whims and urges and impulses? Not so much. I'm know as extreme in this sense.
denial of "weakness": I have a tendency to want to hide, deny, repress, supress, rationalize away feelings of insecurity, failure, hurt, shame. Why? Because I have painful experiences where these things have been used against me, so I naturally want to hide and defeat them. And I want to keep up an ego image of "different and weird but confident about it". However, denying these feelings means the problems around them are never solved. And perhaps it is like cutting off the most humane parts of me?
ideas for development
contextualize emotions: Instead of turning an emotion into an all-encompassing story about myself, others and life, I can simply just acknowledge the emotion, understand what led it to being triggered in the present moment (instead of using it to drag myself into hopeless despair and needing to overhaul my entire life, TE grip). I can keep it at that subject, and still go on
ground emotions in concrete situations: Instead of making an emotion all-encompassing story about myself, others and life, I can simply just acknowledge what I'm feeling, what I'm reacting to and how I'm interpreting the situation (it doesn't have to be that big)
question my emotions: Instead of jumping to the conclusion that I'm right when I'm in an intense emotional state, I could try to see alternative interpretations by coming up with other possible explanations, thinking about how others might interpret this, actually asking
live out my values and ideals: Instead of keeping everything inside me, in feeling, in judgement, in opinion, in ideas, in fantasy; I could try to express these things and actualize my life into one I could be proud of. What do I feel? Simply state it. What do I mean? Express it. What do I value "morally"? Speak on it. What do I value in my life? Try to embody and integrate it. What are my "preferences"? Express, share and explore them.
extroverted intuition
strengths
humor and wittiness: I have a knack for coming up with fun things to say or do. I can be quite clever and witty.
creativity: unless it is turned into a requirement or demand, I can be quite creative in coming up with new ideas; I get inspiration and whims out of nowhere, for stories, scenes, activities, hobbies, solutions
immaturity
daydreams and fantasies: Due to not really daring to put myself out there in the world, I keep fantasizing and imagining and daydreaming about potential scenarios, potential selves, potential lives. I go around with crushes on guys who will obviously never like me back; or if there is a possibility, I never explore it. Though it feels good, it does nothing to bring my actual life closer to what I really want.
ideas for development
at its best, extroverted intuition gives me a hopeful and optimistic attitude (because I know there is always another way, and there are always other ways to look at things or do things) and inspires me to take action in the world; it's the function which makes me keenly aware of how small changes can have a huge impact, how opening up for possibilities is the first step to actualizing possibilities, which understands that I don't have complete control over the outcome, but it's still worth a try
show up as yourself: let go of being so damned ashamed and insecure (FI) and thinking you have to have it all ready, perfected, presentable (TE); show up as you are, with what you've got, deliver an unfinished project
look at alternatives: instead of sticking to rigid expectations about negative outcomes or catastrophizing potential missteps and failures, imagine ways in which things could turn out differently; consider also how a "failure" or "partial failure" can be a "lesson" or can open new doors
problem solve on the go: when a problem or difficult situation arises, quickly figure out the outcome I want, then brainstorm ways to get to that outcome
do small steps: instead of resorting to "don't know how", "can't", "impossible", "futile", "too difficult", "never done before" and giving up and sticking to old comfort zones (FI/SI) or "should", "must", "have to" and making plans which are too demanding and unrealistic (TE), I can do small things which could potentially lead to a somewhat different outcome which fulfills the same need
change things up, try new things: instead of sticking to the same old, same old, I can try new things which could give me new experience or open up new doors; strike up conversation, say hi to that person I never greet, ask a silly question, sit somewhere else, approach what I've avoided, talk to someone old about something new, take on a new persona when you say something specific, be serious where you've been silly, move furniture about
seek out good advice:
introverted sensing
immaturity
not learning from experience: I keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again without learning from last time; every situation I enter it's like I do something for the first time, like I have a beginner's mind, like I want to reinvent the wheel; meaning that a lot of my previous experience and understanding goes wasted
dysfunction (looping)
development
catalogue experience and learning: what worked, what didn't? this creates a ground to work from for next time
catalogue preferences: note down what I liked and disliked in different areas of life so I'm just not "blank" and "open to any possibility", but grounded in preferences and experiences; this will ground my Fi identity in tangible experience and my Ne exploration (by providing some ground to take off from)
extroverted thinking
weakness
poor planning:
destructiveness
moral indignation/vengefulness:
shadow functions
some patterns
tendency: strong negative emotional activation (FI) → thinking how it's always (been) like this (negative SI) → thinking how it will always be like this (fatalistci NE projection) → hyper-analyzing the causes through different frameworks (desperate TI trying to understand) and trying to come up with foolproof plans for changing (which are completely unrealistic) (TE) → continued hopelessness and despair (FI-SI)
alternative: strong negative emotional activation (FI) → acnowledging the feeling as a reaction to a current situation, understand my interpretation (concrete SI) → accept the emotion within the context (FI) → look at other alternagtives for intentions, meanings (NE)